Time seems to have passed so much since the last time I've talked to you though it only has been a few days...
I'm pretty sure that you're pissed off at me for what happened and as I texted you before, I'm sorry if I seemed forceful (seems like to me~). But then again, texting apologies is pretty lame, no? Perhaps I should have called you and let it ring until you pick up. I did prank you and hoping that you would call me back and everything will be okay. But.... it was not to be. To be honest, half of me was hoping that you wouldn't call me back because then I wouldn't have to pretend or keep apologizing (which I seem to be doing alot lately).
I know that she broke your heart... and it hurts like a bitch. Well, I had my heart broken too and I know what it feels like. To me, it was like I was living in a nightmare that I just could not wake up from and it seemed so impossible that I would ever fall in love with another again. Time past, wounds healed, and against the odds, I did fall in love again. As I told you before, love will heal the wounds that it had a hand in creating but from my experiences, you would not forget the chilling pain and the sleepless nights. You would not forget the betrayal, the hurt, the anger, the tears, the sorrow, the depression, the.... you get the point. I can't tell you that everything will be okay and you would forget about everything because, you won't. At least I haven't forgotten anything from my last relationships. It's almost like the wound has healed but it leaves behind a scar. A scar to remind you of what happened, how you felt, and what to learn from the experience. ....and I have many scars.
I know you need space... *sigh* sorry about that too. We all need space to think "ALONE" and I blindly let my fears fog up my judgement. But that is no excuse. I care... alot and I get worried easily. It's just who I am and nor will I ever change into another to just please one or another. Yes, I'm clingy. Yes, I get attached easily. Yes, I'm emotional. and Yes, friends means the absolute world to me. I would not be here typing this if it weren't for my friends who quite literally kept me alive. Something to live for. Something to take my mind of my life. Something there that I can always turn to and not feel alone.
I didn't intend for this blog to be so long~~ but just bare with me. I guess I just have a lot to say (and a lot of time to kill).
I was cleaning up my room yesterday and I found a notebook that I have only used a few pages. You know what I wrote? Within the glittery cover, I had copied out some of the text-messages you sent me. I had little diagrams too x3 haha. Just reading back, a flood of memories came rushing back (slightly cliche. hush). Even though we only had, what, two days of whatever-it-was together, it meant a lot to me. Well, it's the first time that any member of the male population have ever written a poem for me (two to be exact :P) and nor have I spent over $50 just texting in a few hours! The point of mentioning in the past was just to tell you that you're a special friend to me <3 always have, and always will be.
Even if you decide to never talk to me again, you would have a special place in my memories, just like all the other guys I fell in love with. Yes, you read that right. I hope you're doing okay and having 'holiday' homework keeping you busy. &as you have asked me once, yes, I do believe that you'll get better and yes, I do believe that you would eventually see through your pain and pick yourself up again. Why? Because you're a soilder... a rather arrogant and stubborn and over-confident one too. :P haha.
So, if your decision is to never talk again, then I'll go along with it. No, I don't want it to happen but I don't want to force into a friendship that you don't want to be in. Good luck in the future, not that you would need it because you'll ace everything anyways. And keep being that arrogant, beautiful, caring daredevil-of-a-gentleman that you are. It is who you are and don't you dare let anyone change you. Whoever marries you in the near future will be a very lucky woman. <3
I feel like there's so much to say but I can't seem to get it all out. Like, a lot of people is in a room and they all want to get out at the same time through the only door. Very little comes out. But this blog is already too long and I hope you read this. Whatever happens down the track, you are never alone because you have me always <3 Oxygen and mercury will always be together, right? In your darkest hours, I will be your light if I have to.
Love always, Mercury.
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